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On The Rain-slick Precipice of Darkness Episode 1
 Penny Arcade Adventures
Demo Download
Every now and then, critics in domains where criticism is due decide to show they’re not all talk but actually able to create some of the stuff they badmouth others for not being able to do properly. Some good example of this would be, let’s say, Umberto Eco, who basically thought he had read everything, so he presumptuously, one might think, started writing himself. The result of that is not something I’m going to describe here, suffice to say it was good, shit, there’s even a movie with Sean Connery after one of the books, and he almost won Mister Universe once, so that’s cool.
Much like in the example above, the guys over at Penny Arcade, after years of making a living from taking the piss out of game makers, gamers and of course, the games themselves, decided to make one of their own. When I started playing the game, I had expected it to be something that’s for PA fans alone to savor due to the webcomic’s way of being the type of thing you either love or hate.
For years now Penny Arcade has been building a steadily growing audience with which they share their interests in video games and penises, up to the point where I am really waiting for them to change name to Penii-Arcade already. Turns out that they have actually created a game that’s enjoyable by everyone, even if you like the comic or not. Little to no compromise has been made to that end, like for example there is no mature filtering of any kind, to make sure that the signature dialogue is un-tampered with. So to anyone reading this that’s not a PA fan, maybe a little background on these guys is needed.
Much like how horny teens dream about becoming porn-stars in order to get paid for what they want to do most, Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins also had a similar dream, which they are now living out. No, they do not get paid to masturbate, they earn money playing videogames, and writing the odd comic every now and then.  Much shit is going around the internet about these guys, how they’re unattractive sociopaths with egos the size of a 70 years old sailor’s prostate, but fact of the matter is they still make a living out of video games, they each have one kid, proof that someone had sex with them at least once, and more recently, have their own game. I guess you really need to check www.penny-arcade.com if you’ve never done so until now.
A fancy word for ‘balls’
Back to the game at hand, it’s a RPG kind of like Final Fantasy, with beautiful cartoonish graphics and hilarious 2D movies, a striking oddity if you consider that now everything is in 3D, but it obviously makes sense when you watch them, they’re strips with motion, the kind you sometimes make up in your head when reading the webcomic.
Set somewhere at the beginning of last century , in the mystical land of New Arcadia, On The Rain-slick Precipice of Darkness starts with you, an average Joe, cleaning up your lawn with your rake, only to have your house stepped on by a giant Fruit-Fucker that seems bent on smashing stuff. The evil red glow in the giant robot’s eyes makes it obvious that fruit is not the only thing this mechanical rapist is out to fuck, and as it fades into the horizon, two strange individuals are chasing the damned thing.
Turns out they’re the two members of the Startling Developments Detective Agency - Gabe, who ‘once fought the devil’ and Tycho, with a masters in the apocalypse.  Love at first sight between the player and these two guys, who team up to beat the shit out of the weirdest enemies in order to solve the mystery of the giant robot.
With back-office guidance from Tycho’s lovely niece Ann-Claire, the trio sets out to gather clues about the giant robot and the overall suspicious activities that have been going on in Hobo Alley, a shitty neighborhood festering with bums and mini-fruitfuckers, and the Pelican Bay, some sort of an amusement park full of clowns, mimes and tenors or whatever those dudes with small round hats playing the accordion are called. Actually these are the two main locations where you will be spending most of the time. The other three are the agency’s office, Ann-Claire’s room and the starting location, Desperation Street.
Moving around in between locations is not time consuming at all – the player can travel to the office from wherever he/she may be at the time, and from there the world map is available to send you to whichever destination you may chose. Saving is also possible at any time during the game, which seems to be something more and more noteworthy these days.
Gabe facts: When the inventor of the steam-powered pickle jar opener presented his creation, Gabe punched him in the face. |
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