 If I could turn baack tiime, if I could fiind a waay... nah-nah-nah...
Dammit, I'm getting gayer and gayer by the day, which is not that bad, sexually speaking. It's a known fact that homosexuals get a lot more pussy than straight men, just that they don't know what to do with it. I'd like to turn back time and start all over again, pretend that I'm gay and get all those women who like men getting in touch with their feminine side. You know, not wearing lipstick and women's clothes or shit like that, but sighing at the sight of a beautiful flower, crying at a romantic movie, shopping, taking showers, talking to her and gay shit like that. Come to think of it, I'd like to turn back time again and stop being gay.
Plus I wouldn't want someone to pop my cherry, not before going to prison I mean. Why go to prison? Well I must confess I committed a terrible crime. I gave up life for playing games, I denied reality in favor of virtuality, I stopped living and started gaming. Sure you'll say that's not a crime, that lots of you have done that, but think about it, isn't it against the most important law of them all, common sense, to ignore the important things in life in order to waste your time in front of the computer, playing violent games that turn you into a monster and...
...dna retsnom a otni uoy nrut taht semag tneloiv gniyalp... back in time again, sure I didn't say that. Nah man, fuck this shit, let's talk about the important stuff, electronic entertainment at its best, represented here by this very fine sequel to one of the most important games in gaming history, Prince of Persia. UbiSoft Montreal has done a great job with this title, bringing back to life this great adventure, a beautiful story told by the prince itself, letting us in on a marvelous journey as the game advances.
"My snowmobile is broken." "You've blown a seal?" "Nah, that's just a little ice on my moustache."
That's not ice, it's sand, it's all sand here, in the freaking desert where water is one of the most precious... uhm, things, 'cause that's what water is mostly, a thing, that can restore life after the heat of the battle.  Who's doing battle? Well, on one hand, there's this guy, the son of a great sultan, a prince, who's something like Neo (the Matrix guy) meets Nadia Comaneci (the gymnast queen) meets Kibagami Jubei (the ultimate ninja). He can run on walls, jump incredible distances, walk on wires, chop people into pieces and still have time for a drink every now and then, which kinda makes him talk to himself a lot. Nobody's perfect, but this guy is as close as you can get. He's young, rich, handsome, a great athlete and a brave warrior, striving to gain glory and fame in order to impress his father. It's exactly this pride of his that sets in motion the events that are represented in this game. He uses a powerful dagger to unleash upon the land the sands of time that consume almost everyone, turning them into monsters.
It's against these monsters that our hero has to wage battle against, in the most beautifully imaginable way. Sword in one hand, dagger in the other, he's ready to show the world his ass... ...ssa sih, ahem, his extraordinary fighting skills that allow him to perform eye-catching moves that impress the ladies and make Jet Li green with envy.  "How swift thy sword" Nameless would say. Yes, he is our hero.
So, where do we go from here?
Well, let's see. First we pull this lever that opens a door for a limited amount of time, run up that wall, press that yellow button, than quickly jump in the other direction, grab a rope at the last moment, swing onto a ledge that collapses under our feet so we must be quick and start running along the wall, jump off it onto a column, climb it, jump towards a horizontal flag pole, swing of it onto a tall platform, where the door is, and roll past it just before it closes.
Seems crazy? That's the kind of shit you're supposed to do when you're not fighting. Fast paced action that keeps your heart rushing with excitement while your feet are nervously trembling uncontrollably.
Our prince is one agile character, and he's able to do just about all the things I have said above, plus a lot more. Sure he won't be doing this by himself, you have to assume control and lead him through the obstacles in order to advance. It's not easy to realize what must be done in order to progress, when in a tricky room full of ledges and poles and boxes, you have to think things through, experiment, and only then start on the path that starts to reveal itself to you. While it is not chess, still the game stresses the brain a bit by forcing it to think, to foresee the problems that may arise and start solving them in advance.
Plus there are these puzzles, not many but cleverly done, that you must solve in order to set some mechanism in motion or to open a route of access into some place. Hell yeah, great puzzles that force you to stop for a while and think, and give you a great satisfaction after you solve them. |
